GREMLINS (1984) - 12/8/2024
What constitutes a “Christmas Movie”?
One of the most divisive things amongst film viewers and enjoyers is the question of what is and what is not a Christmas movie? This whole debate is nothing new, but the discourse has ramped up over the past decade due to the internet, predominantly behind the efforts of contrarians who believe that Die Hard is a Christmas film. And while yes, it takes place around Christmas, I am here to tell you that I believe that it is not.
There are many reasons why this argument has persisted over the years, but I believe the main reason is because of the type of people who traditionally push this narrative - and that is bro-y men. Listen, I love Die Hard and think it is an incredible action film1, but it does not, to me, fall into this category. I think the reason this has continued on the internet is because the people pushing it wanted a different type of Christmas film from the usual warm, feel-good schlock. Partially, this is because of the Hallmark-ifcation of Christmas films that have been created rather than something that is a solid movie watching experience, which I can understand. These dude’s dudes don’t want to sit around on their couch with their significant others and watch Hot Frosty, they want something that will entertain them and what their version of the movie going experience should be. To an extent, I get it, but at the same time compromise is key.
But as I stated, what used to be a fun little debate has become a voracious attack on someone if you disagree, because everything is binary. Here is why that film is not a Christmas movie and here are some ground rules, to me, that constitute what I believe is a Christmas film (or for that matter, for any film to be considered a representative for that holiday).
The film has to take place primarily in or on the holiday in question. If it predominantly takes place around the holiday, it has to at least have some part of the film cross through the actual day of the holiday.
This is a similar thing I wrote about when talking about Trick ‘r Treat. Die Hard accomplishes this, taking place on Christmas Eve and crossing into Christmas morning. That was never in question.
The plot of the film has to revolve around the holiday and embody ideals of the holiday in question.
This is what Die Hard doesn’t do. Sure, we can dance around loose ideals of family and capitalism and yadda yadda yadda, but Die Hard is not about Christmas. It is about a corporation getting high-jacked and some dude saving those employees. There are no call backs to Christmas or reasons that this robbery is taking place because of Christmas, it just happens to be the timing of everything. Maybe if Bruce Willis said, “Ho ho ho, mother fucker.” instead of “Yippe-kay-yay” it could nudge its way in. But it doesn’t.
If we didn’t use this baseline, then any film that had a Christmas scene would be considered a Christmas movie. That means Psycho is a Christmas film. That means every Harry Potter film is a Christmas movie2 (and also a Halloween film). For that reason as well, films like The Apartment or Meet Me in St. Louis are not Christmas films. I am not saying that these cannot be enjoyed around Christmas because of their proximity to it, but they are not films about Christmas.
The film has to thematically fall in line with what Christmas (or the given holiday) is about. So in the case of Christmas, that means it’s about peace on Earth, goodwill towards men, family, Jesus, etc.
This also eliminates Die Hard, because, again, the film does not have anything to do with what we have come to understand Christmas as. This also excludes films like Trading Places or any Shane Black film (which, for some reason always happen on or around Christmas). However, a film like The Holdovers works because it is about family, chosen or otherwise, and finding that community during a time of the year where we may need it the most.
This brings me to my biggest point: Gremlins is a Christmas movie. I’m actually shocked that the whole contrarian contingent hasn’t latched on to this film instead of Die Hard. Gremlins literally revolves entirely around Christmas and the concept of it as a holiday. The catalyst of the film is the dad buying a Mogwai from Chinatown as a Christmas gift for his son. The town is decorated head to toe in Christmas gear, forcing the cheer down our throat. This, in turn, leads us to what the general idea of the film is, which is the poisonous nature of an over commercialized and capitalistic Christmas.
Throughout the film we are shown how much money takes precedence over the idea of family and love during the holidays. Even in small-town America, those needing the most help are completely overlooked3 and how flash and peacocking has taken over as the form of what matters the most4. Everywhere we look we are hit over the head with the commercialism of the Christmas industry, from trees and toys to the reruns of classics on television. This is manifested, obviously, in the forms of the Gremlins, where greed becomes the humans' downfall as they're given very easy and precise rules to follow5, but disavow for their own gain, even at the clear discomfort and pain from Gizmo. And, to close it all out, we have the truly fucked up story that Phoebe Cates tells us about how her dad died because he, too essentially wanted to provide a perfect Christmas for his family. This film posits that if we let holiday commercialism go unchecked, it will and can ruin the core values of Christmas (represented as small-town America) that we have held so firmly onto for so long. But, then again, isn’t corrupting capitalism the truest American belief?
Listen, I’m not saying you can’t enjoy a Kiss Kiss Bang Bang or Die Hard at Christmas, do whatever makes you happy. I just truly believe that films like that are not Christmas movies. So, to offset this long chat, I’m going to list my Top 5 Christmas films. I’m choosing actual films, not Christmas specials because otherwise it would be the original Rankin/Bass claymations (Frosty, Rudolph, etc.), the original Grinch, and the Peanuts special.
Elf (2003)
Gremlins (1984)
A Christmas Story (1983)
Love Actually (2003)
The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)
I also think that Die Hard with a Vengeance is one of the best sequels - albeit the third in the series - ever made.
To be fair, the Christmas scene in Deathly Hallows: Part 1 does fully embody the spirit of Christmas and is very moving.
As presented in the scene when the bank owner Mrs. Deagle refuses aid and help for the poor family that needs an extension, especially when she exclaims, “But it’s Christmas!”
Like with Judge Reinhold’s character or Billy’s dad's insistence on having the next, big thing.
Which I have my issues with, like how do these creatures know what time it is? Are they tuned into midnight where they are or where they originated from? Also, if they aren’t supposed to get wet, what about every time they touch snow throughout the film? Or have a drink spilled on them? Is it just purely water?